


Incidentally, or The Difference Between Asking, Telling, and Beating a Dead Horse

by Iambic



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-18
Updated: 2009-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-04 13:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iambic/pseuds/Iambic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't Ask, Don't Tell may be a thing of the past, but Rodney's still not catching on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Incidentally, or The Difference Between Asking, Telling, and Beating a Dead Horse

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the mcsmooch community at LiveJournal.

Rodney had absolutely no objections about DADT's repeal – quite the opposite, actually. Most of his initial response was surprise that the Americans had finally got around to pulling that stick out of their collective ass. When the news hit the rest of Atlantis, he experienced a vaguely paternal sense of abstract satisfaction for the especially excited Americans. But when the dust cleared, Rodney didn't think there would be too much of a change – no one really indulged in public displays of affection around Atlantis.

Except that just as he thought this, John rounded a corner, and spotted him, grinning like an idiot with a plan. Which he no doubt was. Rodney felt rather justified in his assumption when with nary an explanation, in the middle of the hallway, John grabbed him and kissed him.

Well. He _would_ have felt justified in his assumption. The kiss itself proved sufficiently distracting that he didn't actually feel anything except great and bewildering surprise.

"The hell, Sheppard?" he asked when John released him.

"Just doin' my duty," John retorted with a mocking salute, before continuing on to wherever he'd been going originally.

\--

Had this been a one-time incident, Rodney might have written it off as unnecessary but acceptable jubilation. After three repeats within the next twelve hours, however – all within view of other military personnel – Rodney began to strongly suspect ulterior motive.

"You know, just because you _can_ 'tell' doesn't mean you have to keep doing it," he grumbled after a fourth interlude, right outside the mess. "There's a phrase for what you're doing. It involves dead horses."

"I'm setting a good example," John replied.

Not sure whether to be flattered that a 'good example' involved kissing him, or affronted the he be used in such a manner when obviously he had better things to do than put on shows for Marines, Rodney settled for a comfortable scowl. "And you can't do this with, say, Major Lorne?"

"Nah," said John flippantly, settling into his time-perfected slouch against a nearby wall and smirking. "We're dividing for efficiency."

\--

By the seventh incident, however, the excuse of 'this is a perfect way to annoy McKay' was beginning to wear thin, though no one had used it except Rodney. He certainly hadn't run into Lorne putting on similar displays with anyone, though this simply could have been due to Lorne's distinct lack of dramatic flair. John, on the other hand, was rapidly becoming Atlantis' 'It's Okay If You're Gay' posterboy, having mastered the cheesy grin and model's pose long ago, and making up for lost time with the gay bit.

He mentioned this irritably to Radek one day as they watched Ancient code compile. But Radek looked pensive, not understanding, and didn't say anything for a moment.

"I did not know John was gay," he finally admitted.

Rodney stared at him for a moment. "But he's been parading it around the city ever since that ridiculous American uniform code was changed! I can barely leave the labs these days without – without…" His mouth skidded to a halt as a stray thought cut him off in his tracks. It had dawned on him that he had spent the past twenty-four hours or so being kissed at odd intervals. By John. And until now, he hadn't even thought it out of the ordinary – just some new development of John's regrettable but mostly tolerable insanity.

There was, of course, also the very small footnote to all this that Rodney hadn't minded the actual kissing much. But this went unrecognised in the wake of the first big realisation, since Rodney was much more comfortable questioning John's motives instead of his own.

"Has it occurred to you," Radek continued, "that perhaps John is only acting this way around you?"

Rodney didn't faint or even sit down heavily, no matter how unsettling he found Radek's question. He did glance over at the screen in what might have been a well-planned diversion, and then immediately launched a new rant, because the Ancient code was not working as perfectly as he'd planned. And because he was first and foremost a scientist – and because Radek was as well – the topic died and was not revived later.

\--

The eighth time John caught him off-guard happened later that night, and differed from the previous similar encounters in that no one else was around, and John didn't actually kiss him – just hesitated, inches from Rodney's face, like he'd changed his mind at the last minute and wasn't sure how to go about reversing his plans.

"Look," Rodney said, anticipating the rush of words to follows and stiffening his spine against them, "I know my reputation as go-to guy for averting disaster precedes me, not to mention my many doctorates and unparalleled genius in matters scientific – not to mention I'm just a really smart guy – but I, as evidenced by past encounters both romantic and political, know very little about what to do when emotions come into it, especially when no one mentions that emotions are involved, and really I can be all right with all kinds of things." He paused, caught himself hesitating, forced himself to take a breath and relax his shoulders, stand up straight. "So what I'm getting at is, if you wanted me to kiss back, all you had to do is ask," he finished.

He wasn't a fool, and having done some more thinking along earlier lines, Rodney had come to two conclusions: first, that John obviously had _some_ reason for singling him out for this kind of thing, and second, that he didn't have much of a problem with where that reason seemed to be headed. Which wasn't so much of a new development as a belated realisation, but interpreting his own motives and emotions had never really been his strong point.

John, blessed with the inability to hear Rodney's thoughts, froze for a moment before relaxing into another one of his signature posterboy smiles. "Would you kiss back already?" he asked – nay, _drawled_.

"Done, and done," replied Rodney. He realised his folly a moment later; there was nothing 'done' about the position he found himself in. Then again, that was sort of the point.

\--

Rodney had expected the hallway visitations to end once conclusions were reached and tension resolved, but John ambushed him three more times before Woolsey and Teyla had separate talks with him about the beating of dead horses, and the difference between use and abuse. From then on the routine became a great deal more subtle, though Rodney still couldn't be sure of making it anywhere at all without being yanked into a transporter, though a doorway, or into an otherwise concealed area.

"You're ridiculous," he told John once, after such an occurrence.

"Maybe your theory was right, and I'm just making up for lost time," John retorted.

"While wasting valuable meeting time," Rodney felt compelled to point out, but he couldn't really keep himself from meeting John's posterboy smile with his own lopsided variation.


End file.
